spoof of d0nt-p0ke-the-bear's shirsey explanations

  • Miller, Thornton, McQuaid and Lucic: u just dont give a fuck it's your way or someone dies
  • Krejci and Bergy: you're a good soul and probably do after school activities
  • Marchy: a screw may be loose/you may have been in jail/psych ward
  • Krug, Hamilton and Smith: PBruins/TX Stars (for Reilly) fans or ages 19-30 who like the lil babies
  • Soderberg: you like the way Andy Brickley says his name
  • Eriksson: u partied the day u found out Seguin was traded and the shirt was a celebratory gift to urself (me)
  • Kelly: quiet person that loves to write and read John Steinbeck and is polite most of the time but puts syrup in someone else's shampoo bottle
  • Paille: ur just excited to be here
  • Campbell: hipster or confused Panthers fan
  • Boychuk: you're a nice person like the Krejci/Bergy crowd but can fuck ppl up
  • Chara: the person in the moshpit EVERYONE wants to avoid
  • Seidenberg: someone who likes to drink their coffee black
  • Rask: ppl who would do well in a moshpit
  • Caron: nobody thinks ur useful even if u won the nobel prize and u just want everybody to realise u can do thing

my brother is pissing me right the fuck off and i’m just about fed up with his bullshit. he’s twelve. he lied to my mom about having an instagram and he’s snapchatting girls. i looked at his phone and found a bunch of bullshit and he called me names and i’m right about to rat him the fuck out. fucking bullshit. he’s getting himself in a shit ton of trouble. 

In every school project when I need to use a name I always use “Mila Ann” because 10 points to gryffindor for the somewhat obscure Bruins reference no one understands because this is the Midwest.

sox-andthecity replied to your post “sox-andthecity replied to your post “sox-andthecity replied to your…”

Oh my god don’t look at their instagram, it’ll make you wanna start stacking 30 at a time. My friend from school worked at one of the few actual Alex and Ani stores, and she had SO many, I was so jealous. That’s how I got hooked </3

See, I gotta work somewhere I can get a discount! Just saw they have Disney bracelets??? But they’re $60??? But I need the Ariel, Mickey Mouse, and Tinkerbell one?? I’m about to go so broke.

sox-andthecity replied to your post “sox-andthecity replied to your post “sox-andthecity replied to your…”

HAHAHA OH MY GOD THAT PARKS REFERENCE IS SO ACCURATE THOUGH. I just keep being like “oh it’s like a little tribute to _____ and every time I look at it I’ll think of that” which is true, but it just keePS MAKING ME BUY MORE

It’s like once you get one for something, there’s twelve other somethings you could get a bracelet for and now I can describe my entire life in bracelets but I don’t have the capital to buy them. I REALLY NEED THEM THOUGH LIKE I feel like normal people that don’t have them don’t get it but once you put one on it clicks and it’s just like I NEED A HUNDRED OF THESE I NEED A HUNDRED NOW AND I NEED TO WEAR ALL OF THEM AT ONCE AND I NEED TO TAKE COOL PICTURES OF MY WRIST WITH THE OCEAN IN THE BACKGROUND AND ONLY THIS WILL MAKE ME A COOL WELL-ROUNDED PERSON. BRACELETS. I don’t even wear a lot of jewelry, but I guarantee this will have a strangle hold on my wallet for the rest of forever. 

sox-andthecity replied to your post “sox-andthecity replied to your post “My god. So I got the Bruins Alex…”

EXACTLY! I think at this point I’ve built up to having about a dozen total, and when I wear them all at once it looks SO CUTE AND WONDERFUL AND MAKES ME HAPPY. But then I’m like “my wrist is worth like half a rent check” and then I cry inside.

And it’s too easy to justify one at a time. Like, well. What is $30? $20 isn’t TOO much. And what’s $10 more? It’s really 2 good meals at a fancy restaurant. I’ve had at least $30 in hamburgers at nice places that I really didn’t need. This will last so much longer! And they’re so cute! And meaningful! And when I get a bunch, I can look at my wrist and it’s like a motivational speech! It’s so great! Until I look down and my cart is more than my net worth. I feel like an addict justifying it like this. And I’m so bad. I’m like treat yoself to something nice for once! But all the time.

sox-andthecity replied to your post “My god. So I got the Bruins Alex and Ani bracelet not to long ago, and…”

It’s such a trap. They make no sense until you shell out for one, and then you’re addicted and all of the sudden somehow justifying spending $30 on a bracelet because the meaning is so perfect. I can’t stop buying them D:

That’s it, though! They are SO COOL! I mean, now I need to get one for Cape Cod because I miss home and then I need two for golf because I love golf and they have a bunch of golf themed bracelets and they are all cute and I can’t just get one, right? And then I need a lighthouse one? But I don’t really need a lighthouse one. But I do because it means illumination and resilience and comfort. And what’s a lighthouse without a life preserver? And four leaf clovers for luck, and because I’m Irish and Irish Catholic pride and all that and identity and whatever. I have 12 bracelets in my shopping cart, and I don’t know where I’m getting $300+, but I need them all so badly. I’m addicted.